wonderin what should i post..

there's been a lot of things happening lately.. something just normal but then some life changing events also happened..


but basically life's not been really that busy except a week or 2 after the last post where had to work like mad to make sure everyone's working on top efficiency. so much to do and so little workers i have.. but thank goodness 4 more extra workers has arrived and it makes my life so much easier..


my fields are so much better now but still there're more work to be done.. working on it.. financial year closes end of this month so i've got to boost up the speed and finish up whatever needs to be done to spend up the allocated budget and clear up all fields.. :) so its spending month.. happy for my workers but i'll need to answer it to my manager which at times might be in a bad mood.. :( but guess what.. its raya season so i guess his mood wont be really that bad afterall..


as for life, i'm financially broke.. lol.. not to say broke in like i cant pay my loans n stuff but broke in the sense that i dont have much money lingering around to spend.. but i just hope it all ends next month.. :) paid off my bike gear debts but one last bomb is my bike's road tax.. sad to say its about 600-700 bucks including changing owner's name. then next month i'll be getting the annual incement.. fingers crossed for how much.. but at least it'll be some help.. :)


what else.. yeah.. financial year ends = bonus time.. but we'll have to wait until dec to actually get it.. ya.. i know its crapy but i guess thats part of the company.. hmmm... fingers crossed too about the amount.. but just hope for higher bonus this yr..


few days ago it was hari raya.. had to stay put in the estate to be on duty coz 1 of my staff is a malay and will be off for his raya holiday and another staff had a minor sugery for blader stone.. also was off until after raya.. so the "tuan" had to stay back and "jaga estate".. but good thing i had company to keep me occupied.. hahaha... i shall not elaborate.. but the thing about our church is that somehow news often spreds really quickly with the power of additives i had ppl asking me y was i not at camp.. according to the person, ppl said i was on a cruise.. lol.. hilarious..


alright need to send some workers to home division.. so lazy to send them over.. coz its ady after work and i'm still working as if the company pays me over time WHICH THEY DONT.. :(


i shall stop complaining..


remember to drink more H20 k.. c",)

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING AT WORK??!!!!

after sometime of working i guess the power of complacency somehow creeps over me.. am i getting lazy or something?? or am i just not doing stuff right?? i really wonder..


lately been scolded by my manager for things.. sometimes i really wonder if its my fault coz i'm just helping other assistants to do their work.. but then at times its my bloody fault.. but the thing is that somethings cant be avoided.. not that i want to make it an issue but its just that circumstances just plays you out..


but honestly speaking my field condition today is really not up to standard and my manager gave me a real big time blasting a week ago.. i know its bad and I'M WORKING ON IT!!! dont expect me to complete things so quickly when you only provide me with a 1:59 worker : hectares ratio!!! some ppl might be super man but i'm sure my workers are not!!!!


here's a list of things i need clearing up.. priority level 1 (least important) - 10 (most important)

1. EFB munching (10)
2. field upkeep, circle spraying, woodies spraying, asytasia spraying (8)
3. maintenance pruning (8)
4. frond stacking (5)
5. beautification (3)
6. staff training course (3)
7. gain back manager and GM's favor (10 X 10)

so yeah.. its alot of things to do.. but then i guess i really have to do it.. coz ITS MY BLOODY JOB!!! and somehow they expect so me to be like what they want.. DAMN.. stressful la..


let me tell u why..!!

1. i'm lame
2. i'm lazy
3. i'm not as smart as they think i am
4. its not easy to control 1450 acres (587hectares) of land ALONE
5. i'm only with ONE year TWO months experience.. not ONCE decade
6. i prefer to sleep at home than going inot the field
7. i's not the kind who goes around scolding ppl.. but i admit i do occasionally..


i think i should quit and sleep at home.. lol.. too bad money dont grow on trees so i'll have to stay and work.. lol....


i guess i'll have to go hardcore cleaning for this few weeks then life will then be easy again for me.. :) weeee... can just laze and lepak at home while everyone else is working their ass off to make their estate look like mine.. :P as if mine's really that good..


but seriously.. its not BAD now.. just not as good as it was before.. i think all this problems started when many workers left to go back to indon after the end of their contract.. i was short of workers and had to train some more workers to fill the place and do more to cover the workers who left.. thats y my workers ratio is so high and the worse part is that i'm suppose to receive another 4 more workers before awal ramadan but somehow my senior assistant and manager decided to use them at home division where their workers are plentiful!!! urh!!! that sucks!!!!


when my mom reads this she'll probably tell me "quit wining start DOING!!!"


alright mom... doing la.. stop bugging... hahahahaa.. just kidding..


anyway.. gtg.. its 7+pm and i just finished my work..


remember to drink more H20 k.. c",)

my first ride...

its ady been slightly more than a month that i've been riding my bike up and down, here and there.. but then finally i've officially joined a convoy.. actually this convoy started to be discussed the day i took my bike coz i was bugging the foreman to have one..


finally about a week ago it was confirmed.. thus ride to ulu langat on the 16th aug 2009 was on.


that morning, my bike's mudguard was loose so i brought it to the shop to tighten but in the end the foreman just took the whole thing off and asked me to ride without it.. but basically it makes no difference.. lol...


so we started waiting for everyone to arrive from about 10 and started out trip to the petrol station at about 11. then left for our journey at 11.30. the trip was a mainly winedy roads so really good cornering skills were needed.. whereas me, honestly i'm not really good in it.. but still i had to chase up with them.. but the worse part is that i'm riding a 250cc bike and the rest of them are on >600cc bikes.. HOW TO CHASE LA??!!


so the 13 of us started the journey.. we were broken into 2 groups.. the FAST group and the SLOW group with a fixed tail man. so initially i followed the FAST group hitting corners at high speed.. but somehow i was not good enough.. coz i'm a noob.. lol... so half way to the destination i had to slow down and wait for the SLOW group which was honestly SLOW.. lol.... but still i got some tutoring from few of the seniors including the "SUPER CHOPPER" guy.. but seriously.. he's really good on his chopper..


on the way, some really scary happened.. i entered a sharp corner at high speed and i did not drop my gear.. so my bike swing out and i had to pull myself into the grass to slow down.. it was scary coz at the side there was no railing and beyond the grass it was something like a ravine.. but then thank God i just followed along the grass and did not go near the ledge.. the guy behind me was laughing away during lunch.. but at least i learned my lesson and had some extra tips of cornering...


so we reached our destination which was the "fish farm thai restaurant" the food there was said to be really good.. but my honest opinion.. not good.. just so-so only. and it was bloody expensive.. i think the fried rice was the best dish.. but no doubt the prawns they served was pretty large.. but just not taste.. we sat downa and demanded that we get COLD WATER right away coz the weather was really hot and we were like dried out.. my shirt was basically wet.. and the whole place smelled of sweat.. of course contributed by all the 13 bikers..


the location of the restaurant was really nice.. it was a man made pond and the dining area was build on stliks above the pond. the pond was filled with fishes.. some really big ones.. fish food was also sold and some ppl were throwing it into the pond to see these fishes rushing to have some of it.. realy nice indeed...

lunch menu
1. BBQ talapia (the skales were still on)
2. BBQ lamb slices (was really very little)
3. seafood tom yam soup
4. sotong fried with salted egg (only 1 small plate for 13 ppl to share "crap man")
5. lala with dry chilli
6. belacan paku pakis
7. fried rice

drinks
1. todi (only 1 bottle)
2. mineral water

total sum: RM270

comment: i was not even full and the food was not tasty.. and it was expensive... :(


since sara (the foreman) was bugging everyone to go back early coz his wife was complaining we quickly headed back after lunch.. this time, i tried to put the techniques and advice of the seniors into practice and wow.. really worked.. i was hitting corners at high speed and able to join the FAST group.. in fact i was the first few of the group.. :)


headed back to bahau by another route then had a drink in bahau to cool down before heading back home..


the comment before i went back was that its time for me to change the bike... y? coz this 250cc junk is too slow for me.. lol... the problem is i've only had the bike for less than 2 months..!! and NO MONEY LA!!!!!


all in all i really enjoyed the trip.. cant wait to got for another one.. but then i'll need to save up for new tires if i continue like this.. its expensive.. :(


here's some pic i took during the trip..

Yamaha R6 only 2 months old

parking outside the restaurant (from left kawa z1000, kawa zx10 (mine's behind it), kawa zx6)

sara's kawasaki zx10 (speed demon)

the "super chopper" man

view from the table of the pond

our helmets, jackets, etc..

the fried rice that was the best dish

ah siong (kawa z1000). he's the FAST group leader..

all the miserable food that was expensive..

from left ah dee (kawa zx10), fauzi (kawa zx6), new guy (yamaha R6)

us parking at the road side waiting for the SLOW group on our way back

the truth is the guys needed to take a smoke.. and i had to pee :P

parking at the petrol station. kawa zx10 (left) VS my kawa 250r (right) mine's the definite loser.. lol...

some of those guys queing to fill petrol

the picture are jumbled up..but anyway.. just for viewing...


time for me to get back home to rest.. a tiring week ahead!!! GM's coming for visit on tuesday!!! stress!!!!!



remember to drink more H2o k.. c",)

in need of motivation

lately i've been lacking of motivation.. motivation to BLOG!! i know its pretty obvious but then yeah.. somehow i've been reading other ppl's blog and noticing things they write.. somehow they write about places, things they do, food, friends, hang out spots, love life and whatever not..


but then somehow i came across this one blog who write basically about someone else.. someone close to the author.. it was a sad story of how 2 lovers came apart because of thier lives although they wanted each other so much. made me really think.. what's love? its being quoted in the bible over and over again about love.. but somehow y cant we have a specific definition of love and how it suppose to be??

1 Corinthians 13

Love

¹If I speak in the tongues^a]">[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^b]">[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

thats what it says in the bible.. but then how can this love apply to us? what kind of love is it?

The Meaning of Love offers and explains a definition of love in a way that is interesting, intense, clear, logical, and meaningful. All relationships --love, infatuation, friendship, dating, marriage, family, community, and professional-- involve three key elements:

Emotions --how we feel about each other
Ethics --how good or bad we are for each other
Joys --how much we satisfy or dissatisfy each other

These determine the quality of our relationships; and The Meaning of Love explains how they interrelate, and why attraction --the normally considered most important emotional element and conventional hallmark of love-- is not sufficient to signify a relationship as one of love, no matter how strong or how enduring that attraction may be.

(http://www.akat.com/lovebook.html)

is this what love is?? how we feel? how happy are we with another person??


according to dictionary.com,
LOVE is

1.	a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.	a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3.	sexual passion or desire.

4.	a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5.	(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

6.	a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.

7.	sexual intercourse; copulation.

8.	(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.

9.	affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.

10.	strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.

11.	the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.

12.	the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.

13.	Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.

14.	a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.

its a long definition and pretty much complicated.. but then somehow when ppl talk about love its often related to BGR (boy-girl relationship) type of love..


lets hear from the infamous wikipedia

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection^[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my boyfriend"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love^[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.^[3]interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

comparing these meaning of love and their values, its obvious that when the word love is said, its often so related to feelings, pleasure, emotions and attraction. but never did they mention about what comes to maintain that thing called love..

very often when i look at my parents. how they love each other and how they love me and my brothers although yes we're really a handful. makes me wonder.. how can you really love someone even though they go head to head with you? how do you still love them although they have so many flaws and weaknesses? through the years you get fat, flabby and awesomely ugly.. what's there so good to love anymore? (my parents is not really fat and ugly.. just illustrations)

to me, love is way more than just feelings.. if love is just mere feelings, how can my parents continue to love such a mischief like me for the past 24 yrs.. yeah i know i'm not the worst person on earth but i've been a real pain in the butt probably since the day i was born..

love is a responsibility. a practice we need to maintain and nurture. its a delicate emotion where ppl often mistake and leave it to fade. at the end f the day, many fall apart because they did not nurture this love they have. they did not take responsibility of what they loved..

love is also a habit. a practice. you dont love a person when you feel like it. you love a person because you love them. although many times we fail to realize how much we love someone especially when we are angry or had a bad day. we've heard of many cases of guys hitting their wife and girlfriends although they love them with their lives but what's the reason to all this abuse? the lack of awareness that love is a practice.

we often say that love is unconditional. but what's unconditional? no terms and condition? how is there no condition to give love? look at this again..

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

lets take a look specifically at this

⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

i think this is one thing ppl fail to do. TRUST, HOPE, PERSEVERE.


to love someone is not to love for a day, but to love for a lifetime.


make sure you understand it when you tell someone "I Love You", show it coz action speaks louder than words.

when someone dear to you comes your way, never think that "what's yours is yours" coz when opportunities goes by, it might never come along again. use this 3 words wisely and timely..


somehow i've been into this song from plain white T's - 1234




remember to drink more H20 k.. c",)

boring updates

basically not been blogging coz basically i've been super lazy.. been to this NEW POST page really many times but then just did not find the mood to actually write anything.. but yeah.. lots of things happened lately..


basically its mostly karen's wedding.. this 2 fellow has ady been together for 5 yrs.. so yeah.. time to get married and repopulate the church.. i'm not sure how many will they have but my guesses... nothing less than 3.. lol...


damn i'm lazy to write anything.. just cant find the mood.. until i get the right mood.. i'll just leave u with some pic..









remember tod rink more H20 k.. c",)

awesomely blur + lazy..!!

its been 2 weeks i've been at my company's 4th and final training course.. topic = rubber..


its something i've not really studies about as my estate does not have rubber.. so the whole 2 weeks i was like dumb.. lol... could hardly catch up with the terminology and names they were using to call things.. but i think i'm much much better now..


but somehow my test is in about 35 min and i dont really know what i should be studying.. honestly i've been sooooo lazy since few days ago to even open up my file to have a look at my notes.. so basically i've got hardly anything in my head.. lol.. but the weird thing is that i can answer my frens when they ask me about this n that.. hahaha...


i've got my notes and computer in front of me now... guess what.. i choose the computer.. hahaha... enough words for this few days... after exam, its freedom!!! probably until my results comes out 3 moths later.. lol.... but as for now.. i'll just enjoy the moment.. i think i should go to sleep.. at least to let my blank brain rest..


i cant wait for monday to ride my bike again... urh!!.. i should give it a name.. any suggestion??.. hahaha



remember to drink more H20 k.. c",)

Being EMO

lately been pretty much lazy to blog and stuff but since i have basically nothing better to do now so yeah.. i'll do it..


i'm currently in ipoh.. having a 2 weeks training course which i will spend 4 days out of the 12 days course in bahau (my estate region).. we'll be taking that 5-6 hrs journey on monday n back here on thursday.. major waste of time.. but i guess since the company is paying for all the expenses so i'll rather not comment too much..


been a pretty difficult course for me as its about rubber and i know 0% about rubber since i'm from an oil palm estate. so yeah.. been doing some reading up myself or i'll look like a "DUNGU" in class and in the field.. cant let that happen..!!! lol...


so been very free after 4pm so basically been roaming around ipoh.. from the supermarkets to the streets, from the coffee shops to the pubs.. but yeah.. is boring.. even tried playing football in the clubhouse field and now half of us have body aches.. lol...


so yeah.. back to the title..


emo.. i believe that its usually something that we dont call upon yet it comes so naturally.. but this few days.. or maybe more like TODAY, i feel like i want to be emo.. but somehow just cant.. its been a long and boring day and i just feel that i should be emo.. but somehow i'm not..

OOI!!.. dont laugh u bugger!! i know its funny..

its just a feeling.. but then i dont know.. my love life's ummm... like that lor... still single... my bike's at the workshop waiting for me to get back and bring it for rides.. my bank's basically empty, i've got enough food and drink.. what's there to be emo about.?.. NOTHING..


i'm just being ridiculous.. so pls ignore me..


i cant wait to get back to bahau n go for rides on my bike... urh!!!... y must i be stuck here when half my heart is in bahau.. lol....


i really do not know what else to blog about now.. haihz...


remember to drink more H20 k.. c",)