WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING AT WORK??!!!!

after sometime of working i guess the power of complacency somehow creeps over me.. am i getting lazy or something?? or am i just not doing stuff right?? i really wonder..


lately been scolded by my manager for things.. sometimes i really wonder if its my fault coz i'm just helping other assistants to do their work.. but then at times its my bloody fault.. but the thing is that somethings cant be avoided.. not that i want to make it an issue but its just that circumstances just plays you out..


but honestly speaking my field condition today is really not up to standard and my manager gave me a real big time blasting a week ago.. i know its bad and I'M WORKING ON IT!!! dont expect me to complete things so quickly when you only provide me with a 1:59 worker : hectares ratio!!! some ppl might be super man but i'm sure my workers are not!!!!


here's a list of things i need clearing up.. priority level 1 (least important) - 10 (most important)

1. EFB munching (10)
2. field upkeep, circle spraying, woodies spraying, asytasia spraying (8)
3. maintenance pruning (8)
4. frond stacking (5)
5. beautification (3)
6. staff training course (3)
7. gain back manager and GM's favor (10 X 10)

so yeah.. its alot of things to do.. but then i guess i really have to do it.. coz ITS MY BLOODY JOB!!! and somehow they expect so me to be like what they want.. DAMN.. stressful la..


let me tell u why..!!

1. i'm lame
2. i'm lazy
3. i'm not as smart as they think i am
4. its not easy to control 1450 acres (587hectares) of land ALONE
5. i'm only with ONE year TWO months experience.. not ONCE decade
6. i prefer to sleep at home than going inot the field
7. i's not the kind who goes around scolding ppl.. but i admit i do occasionally..


i think i should quit and sleep at home.. lol.. too bad money dont grow on trees so i'll have to stay and work.. lol....


i guess i'll have to go hardcore cleaning for this few weeks then life will then be easy again for me.. :) weeee... can just laze and lepak at home while everyone else is working their ass off to make their estate look like mine.. :P as if mine's really that good..


but seriously.. its not BAD now.. just not as good as it was before.. i think all this problems started when many workers left to go back to indon after the end of their contract.. i was short of workers and had to train some more workers to fill the place and do more to cover the workers who left.. thats y my workers ratio is so high and the worse part is that i'm suppose to receive another 4 more workers before awal ramadan but somehow my senior assistant and manager decided to use them at home division where their workers are plentiful!!! urh!!! that sucks!!!!


when my mom reads this she'll probably tell me "quit wining start DOING!!!"


alright mom... doing la.. stop bugging... hahahahaa.. just kidding..


anyway.. gtg.. its 7+pm and i just finished my work..


remember to drink more H20 k.. c",)